A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Time for another exciting installment of my life. I've been 'cleverly' evading the subject of anything outside of the net - haven't I?
There really isn't a great deal that differs me from the rest of the teenage-population. I'm arrogant, go into random mood spirals and seem to have a life-long struggle with paranoia. Another classic fate of 'le teenager' is to constantly feel alienated (No one understands me *hysterical tears*) from the rest of the world, which I also feel fairly embarassed to admit conforming to. I've got this vague-hunch that it's not a teenage thing, but simply that teenagers inherit the arrogance to suddenly express it, via hormones and other avenues of comedy.

I wish I had more wit to inject into this. I could make protentious statements, and proclaim about my 'dashing political opinions', but I'm not going to. 1. I don't have the capacity to be particularly funny. 2. After only reading a few blogs, it seems extremely apparent that using phrases containing 'Bush is an idiot', 'I'm going to kill myself', 'I'm really intelligent, because I have a degree and can make flashy blogs' or simply making snide remarks at people who can't defend themselves from an insignicant 'cunning linguist' writing a online, gets you viewers. After all - 'There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives. '. This is an excellent statement to go by.

Anyway. Though totally trivial, a month or two ago, broke up from a year-and-a-half relationship and am hence now enjoying not being dominated. Lonliness is really an inevitable condition of teenage'itus, so I suppose your resistance can get exceptionally low. But hey - I'm free. We met over the net, and she happened to live in Northampton. After months of chatting online, we met up in July in London (on the millenium bridge). Things didn't seem particularly bad. She actually gave a damn about me, which was an added benefit. So she came to stay a month or two later, in Southampton. By this time, we were talking to hours every night on the phone, and it'd developed into a monotonous routine. A constant battle between my parents stance on 'She's taking over your life', and Sam's (That was her, by the way) 'I can't go on without you. Life wouldn't be worth living' and other dependant and blackmailing sayings.

I ended up throwing in the towel on my social life, and very rarely ever went outside. And for what? Some possesive dominatrix, so she could feel secure and safe? I wouldn't have minded if that had been the case. It was more the emotional blackmail that I didn't enjoy. So, after chatting it through with a friend for a while, I tried, subtley (it's my middle name) to break the whole thing off. After 3 days of hysterical phone conversations and endless crying, it disolved somewhat, and hence; I have my freedom back.

Currently, there are other wonderful emotional 'things' going on, but it wouldn't be the best time to write it out to anyone who happens to be able to get on the net. The part that really bothers me, is the fact that any other teenage blog would contain more or less the same angst. The same 'I'm so depressed. Even though I'm living in a secure enviroment, and have little to worry about, I can still generate trivial sh*tty angst out of no where', on page after page. But so so. Despite your 'radical views', 'great sex lives', and obviously fake optimism about life, you're still as guilty of conforming as me, expensive car or no expensive car.

Stay cool,

Redshift