Thoughts of God in Peaches' porch

It's just gone quarter past 1 in the morning. I've spent the day eating and lazing like the jobless basssstard I am. Trying to keep typing to a minimum as Peaches is sleeping a few feet away and I don't want to wake her. She's so beautiful. She's lying a little disfigured on her sofa but she's beautiful as ever. I know I should join her in la-la land, but I'm too awake on the coffee from earlier. I'm a natural insomniac, as if that makes sense. I wasn't designed for sleep.

I left it a while when she dozed off, and watched some tasteless review programme for a while, but snuck out into her porch for a fag. Thoughts of God were haunting me. Taunting me,I'll never mention it again, but I swear her house is haunted. Months ago in the middle of the night, I saw a huge bright light across from me on the landing. It was more than that; I felt something. Something. Something almost human. My bladder's bursting, but I'm terrified to leave the room. She looks so peaceful - yet so alien from the vibrant alive Peaches that I know. I think I'm sinking into depression again. Peaches is the only thing that keeps me breathing right now, but I doubt I'll ever tell her. It'd only put pressure on her. Am I the only one alive tonight? Am I the last survivor of Sunday night?

Fuck - who cares.

Alex.