Hatch 'em, Match 'em, Dispatch 'em
Hm - well, just arrived back from two weeks break from college over Easter. I'm the in the library once again, upstairs this time. It's a really bizzare atmosphere. Loads of people, but they're all just silent and collapsed in on themselves and their work.
Anyhow - have I mentioned a place called Little Hatts? A field near where Rob and I used to go as kids, and still do to smoke and chat. Matt (old friend, - see in other posts), Rob and I found ourselves sitting on one of the benches there. A few metres away, across one of the barbed wire fences, and burley guy was setting up a shed (looked like a small stable). He beckoned me over, and asked if I could look after the field while he wasn't about. Hey - why not. He was driving off, when he stopped, leant out the window of his van, and offered us a load of dope. Needless to say, we took it. We all got extremely wasted, and the Easter holidays began. The next day was Rob's party. Rob's house is more like a zen temple to me - every sound is so acoustic but cushioned at the same time. Hard to describe. His Mum (an eccentric artist ((who's always scared the living shit out of me))) leaves her vibe around the place. Nevertheless, about 20 people turned up, and Peaches had already come with me. Eventually, the booze arrived in the form of spirits, and needless to say once again, I got slozzled. Peaches and I stumbled up to Rob's spare bedroom, and were teenagers once again.
Do I ever feel threatened by other guys? Sure - it's built in, isn't it? But never too threatened. If she particularly wanted to leave me, of course I'd let her. I wouldn't make her life hell. I wouldn't hate her for it. I'd just accept it and be extremely depressed about it for weeks after. One particular guy scares the shit out of me. For reasons I can't disclose online, it just makes me nervous how he acts. Then again, I talk to plenty of other women innocently, so it's most probably just the same thing. Just male paranoia.
Jesus, isn't there more to life than this? Life. What the fuck did life ever have to do with anything. I sit down to write these and suddenly realise I have nothing to write. Nothing any of you would want to read anyway. Nothing you'd be particularly interested in. I make out I'm some deranged philisopher/poet, and suddenly realise. I'm not. I'm a long haired teen with blue eyes and a problem with reality, like everyone else. "Oh, I'm so alone, no one truly understands me, blah blah blah". But isn't that what most of us are thinking at the moment - if not for the rest of our lives?
Hatch 'em, match 'em, dispatch 'em. That's the reality isn't it. Born - Lot's of sex - Death. The timescale of existence. Alas poor Yorick - this is Alex.
And this is Alex saying goodbye for now, it's warm, the sun's out, and I'm stuck in college.
Bonsoir.
Anyhow - have I mentioned a place called Little Hatts? A field near where Rob and I used to go as kids, and still do to smoke and chat. Matt (old friend, - see in other posts), Rob and I found ourselves sitting on one of the benches there. A few metres away, across one of the barbed wire fences, and burley guy was setting up a shed (looked like a small stable). He beckoned me over, and asked if I could look after the field while he wasn't about. Hey - why not. He was driving off, when he stopped, leant out the window of his van, and offered us a load of dope. Needless to say, we took it. We all got extremely wasted, and the Easter holidays began. The next day was Rob's party. Rob's house is more like a zen temple to me - every sound is so acoustic but cushioned at the same time. Hard to describe. His Mum (an eccentric artist ((who's always scared the living shit out of me))) leaves her vibe around the place. Nevertheless, about 20 people turned up, and Peaches had already come with me. Eventually, the booze arrived in the form of spirits, and needless to say once again, I got slozzled. Peaches and I stumbled up to Rob's spare bedroom, and were teenagers once again.
Do I ever feel threatened by other guys? Sure - it's built in, isn't it? But never too threatened. If she particularly wanted to leave me, of course I'd let her. I wouldn't make her life hell. I wouldn't hate her for it. I'd just accept it and be extremely depressed about it for weeks after. One particular guy scares the shit out of me. For reasons I can't disclose online, it just makes me nervous how he acts. Then again, I talk to plenty of other women innocently, so it's most probably just the same thing. Just male paranoia.
Jesus, isn't there more to life than this? Life. What the fuck did life ever have to do with anything. I sit down to write these and suddenly realise I have nothing to write. Nothing any of you would want to read anyway. Nothing you'd be particularly interested in. I make out I'm some deranged philisopher/poet, and suddenly realise. I'm not. I'm a long haired teen with blue eyes and a problem with reality, like everyone else. "Oh, I'm so alone, no one truly understands me, blah blah blah". But isn't that what most of us are thinking at the moment - if not for the rest of our lives?
Hatch 'em, match 'em, dispatch 'em. That's the reality isn't it. Born - Lot's of sex - Death. The timescale of existence. Alas poor Yorick - this is Alex.
And this is Alex saying goodbye for now, it's warm, the sun's out, and I'm stuck in college.
Bonsoir.
posted by Redshift at 6:18 AM
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