And in the deafening pleasure, I thought I heard someone say "If they walk away, we'll walk away"

If anyone's actually following this, I apologise for not posting for so long. I've had absolutely nothing to say, a tonne has happened; but the will to actually write it has disappeared. My body is trying to prove to me that it doesn't need sleep, but insisting that for however long I lie in the dark, I can't drift off. I assume this is me breaking into some new stage of Evolution. I'll have a chat to Darwin, I'm sure he'll sort it out. Roxie and I have been up and down, but when I think outwards, everything's been up and down. My life. My mentality. My general mood. I live in one extreme or the other. Utter depressing misery, or euphoric happiness. It's the only way to be. I say that now, since I'm moderately bombed out on the caffeine from the college cafeteria, but I know I'll hit rock bottom when it wears off.

Is this a way to be? A legal drug dependancy to function in society. I attribute all this to my ever more fucked-up brain chemistry. Must be something to do with it. Nothing particularly bizarre has happened. I've met new people per usual. I've lost new people per usual. I've stuck with the same people per usual. Same old shit. Nothing really changes, and the nature of how inconsistent things really are is starting to show through the foam of reality. I'm seeing more truths about the world recently, but I doubt they really are. Just ever-weirder thoughts about life, the universe and everything. I wonder why I'm here, and just what the hell I'm supposed to be doing. Who I am, and when I work that out, why. Why am I myself, and what's shaped me this way. But it seems futile to keep asking 'why'. Since the answers won't help, they won't life you up. Jean-Paul Satre was a great believer in living for the day, doing, not thinking. It's the only real way to be, and I'm going to test it out. The problem is this causes two extremes. Mad behavior, and seemingly impulsive acts of genius. Neither of which I've ever been great at. Well, stay chilled, the caffeine's really starting to kick in, and I'm going to go milk it's effects.

Helix.